Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Final Moment

I walked across the wind and looked at that crowds. So calmly. Life will never be enough just being treated alone. Man must collide and share, and that's what I meant that day. I would celebrate my presence in joy and happiness. In a colorful world that I had been waiting for such a long time. I was very sure of that, I would gonna make it!

God's diven men chance not for once. If failing in the first, wish to get it in the second or third. In fact I did fail again, and again, and again. In the crowds I did see an interesting game, a charming chats and smiles. So much hope inside me to join. To grab the most exciting dreams ever. So much more I felt strongly confident I would be the one to show off. But the real thing didn't tell me so. Still I played my own game.

In the middle of massive ovation I was completely alone, there's nobody there. If I might do, should I cry this on? I oughta know it. I loved this crowds into deep. It didn't do me, too. I was so unfortunate fool. I just hoped it never be the same again. I had been tearing myself down so many, many times.

I was often powerless against this common blast. I was really not in my strong arms. The noise still did not quite understand.

As I have been arranging for. As I have been waiting for. As I told before. Quite enough tough the game is. Pretty nasty the players are. I know it. Everything has got its own place and time. I, myself, who never got the right times and place. At least, in the moment.

I have cared about things that does not care about. It's my fault. But it's my will. For happiness everafter. For an everlasting hope. For everything. Though I've gotta lose another.

I must creep these paths surely. I've got to have much bigger guts. I must be strong. I've got the best exams so far. So I must have then the oddest crazy little thing. I know it's just a game, a game that will have a final whistle, when stadium will be empty as grave yard, when stage is covered by falling curtain. It's just the game, which soon or late will be over.