Happy Indonesia Mother's Day (December 22nd)

A mother's love determines how
We love ourselves and others.
There is no sky we'll ever see
Not lit by that first love.

Stripped of love, the universe
Would drive us mad with pain;
But we are born into a world
That greets our cries with joy.

How much I owe you for the kiss
That told me who I was!
The greatest gift--a love of life--
Lay laughing in your eyes.

Because of you my world still has
The soft grace of your smile;
And every wind of fortune bears
The scent of your caress.

(Turlough O'Carolan)


For all that you have given me,
I can return but love. For you
Bound up the wounds I did not see
And gave me hopes and passions new.

I can return but love for you,
Whose unmoved faith my heart did move,
And gave me hopes and passions new,
And loved me till I turned to love.

Whose unmoved faith did my heart move?
The mother of my heart, not blood,
Who loved me till I turned to love.
And I became the soul I would.

The mother of my heart, not blood,
Bound up the wounds I did not see.
And I became the soul I would
For all that you have given me.

(Dimitri Shostakovich)

Happy Mother's Day to my dear Mum,
Author of my personality:
Pleased, I hope, with what you read in me;
Pleased, I hope, with episodes to come.
Yet now I, too, would get some pleasure from
Making you the book in which I see,
Of all the players in my family,
The central character, whom I would plumb.
How beautiful to move in that direction!
Each to each a separate source of pleasure,
Reading in the other's happiness,
in much description, underlying love.
So would we deepen the connection,
Discovering new passages to treasure
As we follow time towards tenderness,
Yearning for what years unread will prove.

(J. S. Bach)

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Two moons in an hour

Two moons in an hour
like reflecting to each other
is there a mirror between?
or my head is getting dizzy?

Two moons with lazy rays
though no clouds in front of them
kind of reflections I've never found
they get me dizzy or I'm getting myself so

The importance and only thing
the only thing that I can think
it's two moons in their real shapes

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Journey to the Mountains

Five great stones splitted a lone river. Right in the middle lied the biggest, yet the generous one. As I had walked for nine-hundreds steps under the knee-height water surface, I became slower than a band of snails. There, on the great stone I leaned. With all hopeless staring at high, high skyscrapers. My sweats ran dry like flood in rainy season, my throat was left nothing but the drought. Yet, the steps would have been twenty-fold of I had crawled from the river bank. To wipe the wet forehead, to scrap the dirts on shoulders unifying with the temper of my nerves. As water splash kept breaking the stone, it could had had been hotter than that afternoon’s sun.

The blue sky turned to gray a while, then completely dark since I had not afforded to count my own fingers. There was a black out over the generous stone. Completely blacked out I was under the sky for a moment or two.

Then came across the all-white shadows on an alien prairie. No houses even huts ahead every direction. No hands but the sound of a flying crow like a rolling thunder. And suddenly … furry, black crow truly smashed my back into deadly pains. That was a big, big crow I had ever seen the whole life. It was nothing I could guess whether he or she. The eyes were as black as the furs, and the tallons, and even the tongue…yes I saw the tongue. I was scared in deep hopelessness.

“What are you doing on my back? Hitting me from behind, hhuhh?” Annoyed by the crow’s disguising visit I shouted like a mad one. “Hitting me from behind? Stabbing when I’m blinded?” And whatsoever mocking and cynicism like I had used to see on my daily days.

As the crow was no more than having no answer machine but koaa…koaa..koaa…words I did not understand at all. “Killing me like a cowards, hhhuhh?” My voice even was louder than ever.

“Koaa…koaa…koaa…” The crow said nothing more than “koaa…koaa..koaa…” Then after three times of turning back it flied over my head and went the distance. My back pain got lighter, I got better than minutes ago when the black, giant tallons seemed to bruise my very skins to bones.

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Power - less

Empty road into the wood

Stony walks nearby the banks

Crossing all bushes when sun so young

At the gravel after the rain

Footsteps were hard to find the shelter

Closer about to water stream

This slippery soils prevented the stand

Verify too harsh, verily hard

When light was blocked to blackened eye

It was long way to go through it

It was very wild and mean

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